Category Archives: Rant

I think it’s funny that …

A phrase I say a lot. I’ve realized though that, more often than not, this phrase prefaces things that I don’t think are very funny at all. But, I don’t have any better words for that particular feeling. I often don’t have the words for it at all. It feels wrong to say that an example of human beings being terrible towards each other or towards the world or towards other animals (because we are, after all, nothing if not animals) is “funny,” but I often can’t explain it any other way.

So, when I say that it’s “funny” that a woman has been persecuted for attempting to prosecute her rapist – I don’t mean that I find it amusing. I mean that I find it horrific and just so very typical of our society and, honestly, not really all that surprising and so I can’t say “I find it odd” or “I find it surprising,” because I don’t. But, it’s so horrific and typical and not surprising in any way that I just say that it’s “funny” instead of crying or starting a petition or strangling the people who actually DO think it’s funny. 

When I say it’s “funny” that a black man can be struck by a car and not receive justice because the driver “couldn’t see him because he’s black” and therefore BLENDS IN TO THE GREEN TREES, APPARENTLY, and not ONE PERSON asked what the hell the driver was doing swerving about the road and going on to the shoulder, I’m not ACTUALLY laughing. Really, it kind of makes me want to cry or break something or just scream and scream at the top of my lungs about the injustice of it all until my voice is gone.

When I say that it’s “funny” that a group of teenagers can be so human in one moment to “normal” people, and yet immediately follow that up by saying something is “so gay” or calling someone a “fag” or a “dyke,” I don’t mean that they’re making me laugh with their juvenile antics (though perhaps that would be a better reaction than what I’d like to do). I mean that I find it strange and sad and that it makes me want to find every gay/lesbian/trans student in the country and just hug them tighttighttight and cover their ears and eyes and never let go until they’re old enough to realize that they are beautiful no matter what anyone else says.

And, yes, I do think that these situations are indicative of the state of patriarchal, racist, homophobic saturation that we’ve reached as a society. I do think it’s also indicative of the changes that need to be made. But, apparently, most of all, I find it funny.

Anyway, I just was thinking about that phrase and thought I’d get it out there. Sorry if it’s nonsensical or whatever. I hope you enjoy. Feel free to let me know any phrases that YOU say that are weird or phrases with words that don’t mean what YOU mean when you say them. I’d like to know!

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This is a really cool thingy.

I did this and it was actually cool to see that I maybe know more stuff than I think I do. It’s a super cool grammar quiz and I really encourage everyone to take it and let me know how you do! Also, it has little teaching moments, even if you get them right, so it refreshes your memory about why those answers are right.

 

Quick aside in reaction to Texas and North Carolina (and many other Republicans in the nation)

I find it fascinating that most people who are anti-choice (because, let’s be real, nobody is pro-death here, just pro-choice and anti-choice, but anti-choice doesn’t sound quite as democratic does it?) are also anti-birth control. As if women are just baby-making machines. As if we shouldn’t be allowed to have any agency over what happens to and inside of our own bodies.

I disagree. I rail against this idea, in fact. I rail against being told that I can’t do something simply because I don’t have a penis. We all know that if men were the ones getting abortions, there would be NO argument over whether or not it was legal, because men are allowed to decide what happens to their bodies and what happens inside of their bodies. Men are allowed to decide whether or not they want to use condoms – and that was never the “birth control issue.” Well, why not? Do people not think that the paychecks they send to their employees often goes to condoms? So, why is the Pill so damn bad in comparison? Hint: it’s not. Do some research. The Pill doesn’t do anything to any “baby,” there’s actually not even an egg released when you’re on the Pill, just a gamete which can’t be fertilized. Your body is simply tricked into believing there’s an egg released so you don’t ever even get pregnant in the first place. Sounds similar to a condom, no? And, also, if everything is about not killing “babies” (because unfertilized eggs are apparently babies now), why no regulation on condoms? Spermicide? Masturbation?

Make up your minds, people. YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.

Spain

I want to run away to Barcelona, and never come back. I love the people and the language and the tapas and the wine.
There’s this hidden thai food place down an alley that has the best damn curry I think I’ve ever eaten.
There’s an old tattooed man who wanders the pier naked and happy. No one ever bothers him, because how can anyone deny an old man his joy?
I want to go back to the Gaudi buildings and see that beautiful garden again and experience a Picasso up close. I want to immerse myself in the culture that created giant tomato fights and beautiful art and architecture. I want a rocket salad and those little, delicious seafood pastries.
Basically, I guess I want to be an ex-pat, but that’s okay! Because it’s Spain.

Dreams

This is going to be a weird dream post, but I wanted to write it down so I could always remember the good bits and pull them out as nuggets for future stories. Feel free to ignore! This is mostly just for me.

I dreamt last night that someone I love was serial murdered. Of course, they were somehow dead/not-dead, and I knew that, so I didn’t act terribly upset. I was also touring a college – Carnegie Mellon, I think? – and the tour guide and president asked me why I wasn’t crying.

Instead of responding, I ran away and found my dead/not-dead loved one and took them out of the ground, pushing aside dirt and rock and washing the mud from their eyes. I brought them into my house, sitting them in the kitchen and grabbing a serrated knife so I could cut open my hand and trace bloody sigils on their flesh to protect them. I brought them back to life and safety with my own life and safety.

I can’t get this image out of my head, of me having trouble cutting my thumb and not being able to protect them with blood magic (I guess I was a necromancer in this dream). My dream was like a choose your own adventure book, because it had one ending where I couldn’t get the regular knife to cut through my skin, so they were taken from me. It also had another ending where I used a serrated blade and successfully protected them, running back to the college just in time to have a screaming, hysterical fit about how they were dead.

Weird.

Sartorial Rant

So, I have this thing that I need to get off of my chest. I normally dislike judging people’s apparel because I feel that a freedom of expression, any expression, is valid and not something that is up for debate. If you want to wear a mini-skirt, go for it! If you want to wear a full-length prairie dress, go for it! I do not care what you wear, but more what sort of person you are, you know?

However. (And there’s always a however, isn’t there?)

However, I have a severe disinclination for certain forms of sartorial expression. Not because I think they aren’t “cute,” but rather because I object to the underlying societal cues that I pick up from them or that create them. For the purposes of this post, I’m only going to focus on one trend that is currently huge, but has always been a thing, both in America and abroad. And that is the trend of infantilizing women.

Now don’t think I’m getting all alarmist about sexuality, because I am not. Let me make this clear: what you do in your free time is not mine to judge. If you want to role play some underage stuff, fine! Go for it. If it’s consensual, I don’t care at all. I also think that we should allow girls to explore their sexuality at a young age the same way that we allow boys to do so. But, that’s another post for another time.

Here, I’m talking about things like peter pan collars and Mary-Jane shoes. White knee socks and “schoolgirl” plaid skirts. Frilly lace socks that look exactly like ones I wore when I was a toddler in 1993. “But, it’s just the style,” you protest. Ah, but therein lies the problem.

It’s so insidious — the infantilization — that oftentimes, we don’t even see it (we being the general public, not just women). I mean, I guess I’m just trained to see it more because of the classes I took at college and the discussions I had with my friends (full disclosure: I actually only took one sociology class and have never read any bell hooks. I did, however, spend many a night drinking wine and arguing nuances of sexuality and feminism with my friends, because that is what we do for fun). But, when I see a woman wearing clothing that was originally meant for children, I get grossed out. And, I know they’re choosing what to wear, and that most women do not dress for anyone but themselves, but the fashion industry is mainly run by men. Yes, Anna Wintour is a woman and Diane Von Furstenburg, et al, but the mainstays of fashion, the “heavy hitters” if you will, are mainly men. Even Chanel, which was founded by a woman, is now run by a man. Plus, Chanel is one of the main offenders of using peter pan collars and “girlish” styles.

Now, I want to clarify: I do call myself a girl often, because it kind of weirds me out to be called a woman. But, I am a woman, not a little girl. And, I kind of think that if you’re older than a certain age (let’s say 8 or 9?), you shouldn’t wear styles that are meant for the younger set. I just really disagree with the infantilization of women. I think it’s a subtle, surreptitious way of keeping women down. It’s a way of saying that women don’t have as much power as men, and should therefore dress the part in Lolita-esque clothing and just accept the fact that they are viewed as helpless children by men.

I also don’t like when people try to defend these things by saying that feminists have bigger things to worry about than clothing. That is not true. There is no issue that is “too small” for a feminist to “worry” about. I’m sorry if it’s annoying or seems trivial to you, but it’s not trivial to me. And I don’t think I’m just seeing patriarchal oppression where there is none. I really do think that by influencing women to dress like children (and also pushing them to invest in “anti-aging” products, as if age is a bad thing [but only in women]), the heteronormative, patriarchal society that we live in is exercising yet another form of oppression over women as a whole. Especially because, unlike other forms of oppression, clothing is a wide-spread thing. Pretty much everyone wears clothes; you have to, or you get arrested. It doesn’t matter if you’re white, black, Asian, Latina, or any other race/ethnicity. You gotta wear clothes. And, by god, some corporation (probably run by a man) is going to sell them to you. Probably “stylish” clothes, which is where the infantilization trend comes in, because those types of clothing are seen as “cute” or “stylish.” But, you know what’s cute? A kitten. A baby. A cupcake. You know what’s sexy? A woman (or a man, or a gender-queer person. But, when talking about this style, I’m mostly focusing on people who identify as women).

Again, a point of clarification. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to dress like a puffy, frilly, pink cupcake. I often do so, especially when it’s a corset day, because I tend to balance the harshness of the corset with frills and lace. But, that doesn’t mean I would want to be seen as anything but a woman who happens to be dressing a little more frilly that day. I would not, however, wear peter pan collared shirts or mary janes in my daily life. I just think that’s a bit too childish.

Okay, so here’s the tl;dr version for anyone who wants to skip all of what I just wrote, get the basic gist, and go down into the comments and yell at me for how wrong I am: I don’t like peter pan collars, frilly socks, and mary janes because I feel like those items of clothing are society’s way of weakening and oppressing and infantilizing women. You may disagree, and that’s great! Let me know why in the comments. But, fair warning, this is my blog. So, if you try to troll me or my commenters, or you just go down and yell about how feminism isn’t important and is dumb, and how men are oppressed, too, then I’m probably going to delete you. Just a fair warning.

If you guys like this post, I’ll probably have more coming about different subjects, like makeup or whatever. Maybe even some more in-depth analyzation of movies and books. I think my blog is going to have a bit of a different structure now, so just letting everyone know. I’m trying things out still! No big deal. Let me know what you think in the comments.