What It’s Like To Be In Love When You Have Depression

This is just so, so accurate.

Thought Catalog

“No one will love you until you learn to love yourself” is an easy enough phrase to believe is true. But it’s terrifying, especially when you have depression. What if you never learn? As a teenager, it made me fear for my life as an adult. I was certain I would never be capable of being in a relationship, but I was very wrong. Honestly, I do not like myself very much, and in August of 2013, a boy fell very, very much in love with me.

I have dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. I’ve been on and off medications, been to therapy, but it’s still alive and well, comfortable in its home in my bones. I can feel it every day, a tiny inkling that causes breathtaking emotional pain at the most inconvenient of times.

My depression doesn’t care that I am in a…

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the problem is

the problem is,

with his sad lips

and sharp hips,

he draws you

in

too

deep

but, he only ever

dabbles.

Oh Snap!

Oh Snap!

Oh Snap!

Oh Snap!

Fort Pulaski and Coke

 

 

 

So, my mom and I went to Fort Pulaski today, because this weekend is free entry in honour of President’s Day being on Monday! Anyway, we had this idea to do a Coke-themed photoshoot, and then I also added some photos at the end that I took of the fort. I hope ya’ll enjoy!

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Saint Simons and Darien photos

So, it was my mom’s birthday yesterday, and we decided to celebrate by going to Saint Simons Island and taking photos all day long. Which we did. It was so much fun! Anyway, here are some photos from that trip. I hope you enjoy them!

As per usual, click to make larger and also, there are approximately a bajillion photos after the jump. Just the best ones, in my opinion. Also, these are unedited beyond a bit of exposure-messing (I had to lighten up some of them so you could really see the details, but nothing major). Also, the first few photos are actually from the sunset the night before my mom’s birthday. Isn’t it stupid pretty?

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Happy New Year!

Since it’s a new year and all that, I figured I’d do a little post and tell you guys all about what I’ve been using lately to keep my skin in shape. I did do a quickie post on both the Aztec Secret and the Egyptian Magic, but I wanted to really talk about them now that I’ve been using them for a while and know they are actually good. Anyway, here’s a picture of all the items I’ll be talking about, along with some links to where to buy them. Beauty, inside and out
Let’s start with the obvious: my Clarisonic. I was lucky enough to receive mine as a gift a few years ago (Seriously, years, and it’s still going strong) and I really love it. I use the Sensitive or Delicate brush heads and I find they really do get all the icky junk out of my pores while being really gentle and non-irritating. As you may know, I have sensitive princess skin, so the whole non-irritating aspect is very important for me.
Next up, Aztec Secret! As the tub says, “Feel your face pulsate!” And, yeah, that’s not just a clever marketing ploy. I think it really does make your face feel crazytown while it’s on, and then softer than a damn baby’s ass once you wash it off. Depending on if I’m feeling oily or a touch dry/extra sensitive, I’ll either mix my powder with equal part honey and ACV, or just ACV (sometimes with a drop or two of tea tree oil). You can also mix it with water, but I found that to not be deep cleaning enough.
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Point being, this mask really works. For me, I’ll use it and then the next day, my bumps have been brought to the surface. So, that day, I’ll use my Clarisonic and my Glycolic cleanser (which I’ll talk about in a sec) to help get rid of the bumps, and then a day or two later, my skin is beautiful and clear. Now, I will admit, living in Georgia in the house that I’m literally, actually allergic to does make it hard to keep my skin nice and bump-free. But, I do my best, and this mask goes a long way to helping.
So, let’s see. Up next, I’m gonna talk about my Egyptian Magic moisturizer. I really, really like it. It’s pretty greasy and heavy-feeling, but it hasn’t made me break out yet, so I’m really happy with it. If anything, it makes my skin look plump and soft, even on days when it had been feeling dry before I slather it on (and you really do slather it on. Like icing).
When I first started using it, I used too much, and I did get little baby bumps on my cheeks, but once I realized why that was happening, I was able to cut back on the amount I use and still get the benefits without all the icky breakouts. I use about a lima bean-sized amount for my whole face and neck, so I hope that helps.
For my main skincare, I use all Mario Badescu products because they’re formulated specifically for sensitive skin, and use very gentle ingredients (or at least, the ones I use do. Some of the toners do have alcohol in them, so just be careful and read the ingredients list. If you need a deeper toning experience, I recommend witch hazel). I personally use the Enzyme Cleansing gel daily, followed by either the Aloe Vera toner or the Glycolic Acid toner depending on whether my skin is feeling extra sensitive or oily. A few times a week (once every 3 days or so), I use the Glycolic Acid foaming cleanser with my Clarisonic to really deep clean my skin and increase cell turnover action. In the morning, I moisturize with the Oil-Free moisturizer, and at night, I moisturize with Egyptian Magic. I tried layering argan oil underneath for a while, but it made me break out, so I had to stop.
For sunscreen, I always use mineral-based sunscreens because chemical ones make my face burn. Sensitive princess skin strikes again! Anyway, I either use the La Roche Posay one I listed above, or the Lavanila one or the Coola one. I have tried all of these sunscreens personally, and none of them whitecast me, so I like them. Now, to be fair, I am EXTREMELY pale, so for someone with darker skin, I’d recommend the La Roche Posay tinted sunscreen to counteract any whitecasting. It’s way too dark for my skin, though, so if you are pale, don’t think you can use it as tinted moisturizer. Use Laura Mercier’s tinted moisturizer for that. Actually, everyone should use Laura Mercier’s tinted moisturizer anyway. It’s, like, 40 bucks for a tube, but a tube lasts you FOREVER because you only need the tiniest bit to cover your whole face.
For body moisturizing, preventing ingrown hairs (it’s easier for stubble to push through soft, supple skin), removing eye makeup (if you don’t have acne-prone skin. If you do, use jojoba oil), oil-pulling, and preventing dandruff while also making my hair stronger and grow faster, I use pure, unrefined coconut oil. I linked to the Artisana one, but any unrefined coconut oil will work. Make sure it’s unrefined, though! Refined coconut oil doesn’t have the same benefits because all the lovely minerals and stuff have been filtered out. Unrefined coconut oil is also known as “virgin”  or “extra virgin” coconut oil. They’re exactly the same, so don’t worry about it.
A little bit about oil-pulling: It’s an Ayurvedic practice that Indians have been doing for ages, so please don’t tell me that it’s some “New Age” hippie bullshit. It’s not. It’s a very old thing, and has many proven benefits, including lowered chance of gum disease and stronger teeth. I also have personally noticed clearer nasal passages and fewer pimples since I started it. It helps pull out any toxins from your body, so don’t take any of your vitamins or whatever pills you take until after you spit it out and have brushed your teeth. I also like to do it the day after drinking, and have noticed that it shortens or entirely gets rid of hangovers, but your mileage may vary, y’all. I’m just telling you my experiences with it.
Now, last but not least, my newest beauty secret(s): the beverages I drink! I make my own fruity water for super-duper hydration which involves 2L of water along with 1 sliced cucumber, 1 sliced lemon, and one handful of torn mint leaves. I recommend washing your fruit and veg with this before putting it into your water or consuming it in any way, really, just to get rid of all the dirt and pesticides. You’d be shocked at how dirty your “already washed” produce is!
The other beverage I love is kombucha. I mean, I kind of thing straight up, plain kombucha is a bit too fermented-tasting for my kitten tongue, but I do really, REALLY like this Synergy Raspberry Chia one. It’s fruity and light and slightly carbonated and also has the benefits of Chia seeds, which just adds to the nutrition. Kombucha is known to have many health benefits, which I’ll let you guys research on your own, and really has no downsides (unless you don’t like the taste. In which case, don’t drink it!). I personally dig the immune-boosting benefits and I actually really like the taste. It’s like a more earthy wine or fruity beer, and it helps prevent cancer! WIN.
So, I hope you guys enjoyed this post and that maybe it inspires you to do your own version of it, or maybe just inspires you to improve your own beauty routine! Let me know in the comments if you’ve tried any of these products or if you plan on trying any of them. Also, tell me about your routines! I want to know!